Motivation is a daily uphill battle

Seriously why can't I have as much motivation and will power as everyone else out there in the blog/tumblr/twitter world?????????

I have for years had lots of food issues. I have battled with anorexia/bulimia since I was in high school. So with that I have gone up and down on the yo-yo diet weight loss roller coaster. I would use horrible ways and loose tons of weight then gain it all back again. When I met my husband I was in a horrible place. I was eating on average in a day between 500-900 calories. Most of the time I would just throw up what I ate anyway and when I was hungry I would smoke and drink Coke Zero.

Since being with my hubby he has showed me that if I eat right and work out I can get even better results that will last a lifetime. The problem that I am currently having is that the weight is not coming off fast enough. I am having a very difficult time keeping my own moral up. I know that I need to just suck it up and not be such a little bitch.

 I had the best intentions for this week and next week while the hubby is away and so far I have failed miserably. I am still having terrible pain in my wrist from surgery in January, since starting the 30DS my knee has swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. So this has been a bit of an excuse, I didn't actually work out at all yesterday :(

Today I had jury duty again and we walked to lunch and back and then had a "field trip" during duty and walked around some more there. I came home and before doing anything else got changed and did my shred DVD. I did not eat well today as we went to St. Louis Bread Co. and I just couldn't resist that bread.

So new plans for the rest of the week:

*  get up early and go run at the gym (I am starting with a half marathon training program this week)
*  keep a bottle of water with me at all times
*  No eating after 7:30pm
*  Make sure I eat every 3-4 hours and make it a healthy mix so that I am not starving and go for the wrong    foods
*  30DS EVERYDAY!!!!!!


Thanks for listening to me vent this out. I could go on for ever and ever and ever but know that just getting this out a little bit will help me push through. I need to utilize this blog more even if no one is reading it ;)